"Pretend you're playing Angry Birds" (How ECing is different for boys vs girls)

I'd like to say that it isn't really different for boys vs girls.  The communication is similar.  Their elimination needs are similar.

But the reality is that there are some technical details that are different.  Most people seem to get that.  In fact, when Elaine was born and we were excited about ECing, all our friends basically said, "Well, that's nice but I have a boy.  You can't do that with boys."

Well, you can.  And thanks you my friends who have boys who told me that because it motivated me to get Francis to the potty sooner.  :)  There are some things to watch out for though.

(Warning: This is going to get a little bit graphic.  If you don't want to think about boy parts and girl parts, then stop reading!)

With a girl, you aren't likely to end up with a face full of pee if you stop paying attention for a minute.  You can basically just hold a girl over the receptacle and  you'll probably have good luck.  (Realize that girls can have a range too.  Don't put her facing you wearing your good suit and figure she can't make it that far.)  With a boy... well, do you aim?

I searched around on the Internet for descriptions and the best I found was to sneak an arm under baby boy's leg and use a finger to help aim.  So the first time I took Francis to the potty, I pointed him downward and my husband freaked out.  "That's like pinching off a hose!"  Well, what do I know?  So I just let him be and he peed all over the bathroom.  (Duh, right?)

So after much discussion, my husband came up with the following suggestion for when I took Francis to the bathroom, "Pretend you're playing Angry Birds."

For those who might not be familiar with this popular game, Angry Birds is a game on the iPhone (and other similar devices) where you launch ball-shaped birds via slingshot at some structures in an attempt to destroy them and their ball-shaped pig occupants.

We'd just gotten an ipod touch and my daughter immediately insisted on Angry Birds because a friend had shown it to her.   Our family was all playing in no time.  Anyway, my husband's signature move is to launch a bird high into the air so it drops into the structure nearly vertically.  Apparently, that was my  husband's suggestion for successfully getting pee in the toilet.

Are you laughing yet?  Yeah, I realize this is a bit silly.

This method was only mildly successful.  I was able to "successfully play that level" a few times but there were other times that I ended up using my hands (or, um, my kid's feet) to deflect the flow.  I don't really think this method works for me.  (Meanwhile, my husband uses an entirely different hold because he has ridiculously long arms so he apparently holds baby's feet and used some leg readjusting method like a joystick to change the flow direction.  Probably all the while laughing at me trying to "play angry birds" when I take our son to the bathroom.)

So after a few failed attempts, I abandoned that method.  I started watching carefully and when he started peeing, I'd quickly use a finger to point his penis downward just enough to get it in the potty without "clamping off the hose" and that seems to work fine.  In fact, he seems to naturally point more downward now so it's not an issue a lot of the time anymore.  After that first week of trying to figure it out, I think I've missed the potty 3-4 times.  Given that he used it over 80 times, that's not too bad a miss-rate.  Heck, I've heard from friends that their husbands have a higher miss-rate.  :)  And for those of you who also use our bathroom, don't worry.  We keep that Costco-sized bin of lysol wipes there for just those occasions.

83

That's the number of successful catches we had during Francis' first month: 83.  This means that we successfully recognized his signs (or guessed by timing) and got him to the potty about 3 times per day.  Of course, he still used quite a few diapers as well (far more than 83) but I'm happy with that number.  We had the advantage of being home basically all the time too so it probably won't be as high in the next few months.  It's harder to run a 3 month old to a store bathroom in time, especially with the 2 year old in hand. I have no idea how that will go.  So far, so good though.  :)

How to do Elimination Communication

Once you've decided to do Elimination Communication, what do you do?

There are 2 parts: Elimination and Communication.  (Sounds simple enough, right?)

First, and most importantly, communication.  How to tell when your little one is going to eliminate.  Most kids grunt or squirm when they're about to poop and get suddenly quiet and calm when peeing.  You can learn your own child's cues by letting him or her go diaper free, with a cloth diaper and no cover, or even with a disposable diaper that has a magic stripe on it like the pampers swaddlers sensitive.  (As my husband says, "pee and yellow make blue.")  Any way that you'll be able to tell immediately after your child has gone and you'll be able to start learning their cues.  I also recommend that you take your child right after he or she wakes up from a nap.  That's a common time kids usually go.

Elimination

This is how you respond to their cues.  I personally like to take my son or daughter to the toilet in the bathroom.  Other people use bowls, sinks, bathtubs, a bush... whatever is convenient.  Use what works for you and your comfort level.  It's also common of ECers to use a verbal cue like "pssss" to indicate that it's a good time to pee or grunt to encourage pooping.  This is useful if you want to cue your child to go in an unusual place like a new restroom or even their diaper.  I don't see anything wrong with that, but I just ended up telling my kid that it's ok to go potty now and that seems to work fine.  

Regardless of the receptacle, it's important to situate the baby in a way that makes him feel safe and secure.  There are lots of ways to do this, but the bottom line is to just  in a way that supports them as needed.  For newborns, this means supporting their heads in addition to their bodies where a 6 month old wouldn't need that support.  

Here's my daughter as a wee one.

You can see that she's propped on the toilet seat with a cloth diaper added for comfort.  There's also I blanket on my knees for her and dad is helping support.  All these are nice, but these luxuries aren't needed.  (Nice that dad is there to hide her girl parts in the picture.  I'm sure she'll kill me if her prom date were to ever see this in the future.  Sorry, Elaine.)

Some more set up that works for us.  I always sit on the edge of the tub to take off or put on the diaper.  The diapers and wipes easily fit above the toilet.  We can easily fit at lease a dozen disposables there but we could only fit 3 cloth there so we had to restock more when we used cloth and put a small trash can by the tub to toss used ones in.  You can also see the lysol wipes hidden in the corner behind the toilet so we can easily disinfect if the aim wasn't completely successful.  Oh, there's also a stool that my 2 year old now uses so she can hop up on her own.

Because of how we do the diaper changes, this eliminates the need for a changing table.  In the first few months, we keep a mat out on the floor for quick changes but generally prefer to take my kids to the bathroom.  It's more comfortable for me to change a baby on my lap than lean over the floor.  Do what works for you and your family though.  Oh, you'll also notice that I keep the baby angled toward the toilet... just in case.